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NLP Foundation Program

A 12-hour, live, interactive training that will help you understand your your Psychology and others.
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NLP Foundation - English (Online)

Date: Sep. 8th to 12th, 8:00 PM to 10:30 PM, IST
Language: English

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A 50-hour immersive experience to help you reprogram your conscious and unconscious patterns in thought, language and behaviours.

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NLP Master Practitioner

An 80-hour in-person experience to understand the essence of NLP and modelling.

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Working Through Fears and Childhood Patterns

This is a powerful 10-hour workshop on understanding our childhood patterns and fears that make us respond and react the way we do. It also covers some practical tips to navigate our way through our fears and patterns that may be limiting us in our personal and professional lives.

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Positive Parenting

Unique tips to talk to children in a way that motivates them, channelize their talents and celebrate their uniqueness, discover ways of bringing changes in your child and coaching a desired behaviour.

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Date: Oct. 10th to 12th, 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM, IST

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Master Yourself Weekend Retreat

Silence is great - but if used wrongly, it can have disastrous effects on health and relationships.

Either choosing to be silent, or giving others the silent treatment - once you understand the health implications, you will choose silence more healthily in your life.

In this retreat, you can look forward to:
- emotional regulation and co-regulation techniques to help yourself and others
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- learning grounding techniques

We will also sit with ourselves, observe and understand what we are going through, and learn to explore with right questions that help, rather than judge.

Self-expression shouldn’t feel self-threatening. Let’s explore it.

Ishwarya Srinivasan, Team Leader

Prathik Kumar , Project Manager

Thejaswini Prakash, Radio Jockey

Jeyakumar Srinivasan

I am not attached to my father, contrary to what most people think!

Posted By Narmada Rao

I am not attached to him, although his love has been the greatest I have consistently experienced in my life. I have been lucky to have many more people love me and stand by me throughout. It’s just that I understood my father’s love language the best. He made me feel safe. He was kind and understanding - happy when I was happy, compassionate when I wasn’t. He listened without interrupting . He offered another perspective without imposing. He was never rude or hurtful, even if he was angry. He expressed displeasure, but never scared me or scarred me. I didn’t have to meet his expectations to be greeted with a smile. His good morning was always good, regardless of what time I woke up. His ‘good evenings’ were always pleasant, even if I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to. His ‘good nights were always sweet, even though I never slept on time. He wasn’t mad at me when I scored poorly or failed. He calmly reminded me of what I am capable of.  He helped me realise without embarrassing, shaming, or taunting me.He said he was with me in whatever I did, if I was healthy and happy. All he truly cared for was whether I was taking care of myself. He celebrated my small wins, my birthdays like festivals. His eyes would light up, his voice would brighten every time he saw me. He used to ask me to sleep and keep checking on me until I did. And finally, turn the lights off when I did.Yet, I am not attached to him!I loved going shopping with him. He didn’t just pay, he actively participated in helping me select for hours! His eyes would show the delight, and of course, his words would follow, to let me know how good it looked on me. He never stopped buying just one. He always said, “Please take some more nana”. It wasn’t because we were rich, but because he operated from a place of abundance and trust.He was never too busy for me. If I really had to speak to him, he would park the world aside and sit down with me. He was a high achiever - but that didn’t mean he was too busy for anyone who needed his love or attention. He said time is what we make of it. And because he valued time and knew it would never come back, he valued the people who shared that time and space with him. Not his phone, newspaper, or other things. His achievements weren’t about him, but about how actions may benefit many of those around him. A life lived with such impact that a decade after he is gone, people still talk to me about his positive influence on their lives.He always spoke to me of what was good in me, and reminded me of what I could, even when I was far from it. I never believed in myself . But he did. When I gave up, he held on. And because he held on, I rose up. I stand today because I have his hand.Yet, I am not attached to him!He wanted me to get married. But he didn’t pressure me. He wanted me to do a PhD, but he didn’t nag me. He wanted me to save money, but I spent it. He reminded me of life and the importance of savings. He pointed me in the right direction without telling me that I was wrong. I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt someone was there, no matter what. And the beauty is his love is so powerful that I still feel all that - even though it has been 10 years since he passed. I haven’t known of God, but I saw what it might be like in my Dad. I believe in God for just one reason - that he gave me such a precious gift in my father! Only someone exceptional could fathom creating someone so pure, so beautiful, so kind.His voice didn’t change with mine. He didn’t take my anger as an excuse for him to be irritated. While I used to frequently offer that as an excuse for losing my temper - 'They did this or said that - that’s why I got angry and did that or said that!'He used to tell me, “It’s easy to be nice when others are being nice, but it is important to be nice even when they are not being as nice,“ and he lived by that. Others’ anger was never a good enough reason for him to be provoked and be rude, arrogant, or brash. He had the calm sense to be himself and assume that perhaps the other person was having a bad day and cut them slack. If needed, he was assertive and made his point clear, while not looking down on the other.He was never afraid to stand up for what’s right and do what’s right. He always said to take care of at least 5 more people’s meals along with mine. 'It doesn’t have to be fancy - whatever you can do, ' he said.He always said God has blessed everyone - it is left up to us to utilise our blessings and persevere through life.He didn’t ask me to follow his dreams. He let me weave my own.There was solace in his silence, warmth in his voice, and strength in his presence.Yet, I am not attached to him!A solid, dynamic, courageous, positive, brave, chivalrous, kind, thoughtful, loving man. If there’s one wish, I wish I could learn to love like him.He loved - not expecting to be loved back, or expecting  any of his needs, demands, or wishes to be met. He loved, because he loved to love. He was love.He had his fears, but he never let them get louder than his love.He showed me that true love cannot be limited, prevented, or hidden by the concept of time and money.My life was no fairy tale - but his loving presence makes it appear so. I don’t need any more blessings - I got the best, biggest, and most phenomenal blessing right at the beginning of my life - and that Blessing blesses me always.You might be wondering, with all this, how come I am not attached to my father? Because his absence doesn’t bother me as much as his love keeps me going. If I were attached to him, I’d be mourning his absence. But I love him, so I celebrate his life and cherish his love.Happy Father's Day to all the fathers who are heroes for your children! You are our knights in shining armour more than anyone else.

Posted By Narmada Rao

What I love the most about being a part of this world is that we each want to be useful to someone and help each other out most often.However, helping without rescuing – what is this about and why is it important? Imagine this –Scene 1: A person is drowning – You go and help them and rescue them from drowning.Scene 2: A person is learning to swim – Here, you help them learn. If you rescue them from learning, the odds are that they may not learn the skill of swimming for themselves.Drawing a parallel, when an individual is in a crisis, out of love and concern, we may want to not only help but also rescue the individual. This usually may either create a dependency or take away the learning for the individual; or if the individual is not looking for a solution, you could be rescuing them ahead of time. As a result, you could be held to task for rescuing without being asked. So, what do we do then? Just watch? No!Firstly, it is good to understand where is the person in terms of the problem:–          Do they see it as a challenge (at times, we might perceive it as a challenge but the person going through may not)–          If yes, are they looking for a solution? (This is most important. We cannot help someone find something they are not looking for – else they can give you 100’s of reasons as to why any of your suggestions might not work for their problem)–          If yes, do they want to find the solution ‘on their own’ or are they looking to ‘you’ for some guidance?–          If they are looking to you, are they looking for moral support, information, listening and empathy or anything else?If we are able to gauge the individual on the above, we’d be in a better place to play a role that is required for that situation rather than merely offering what we’d like to offer. Offering anything when it is not required loses its value and can also backfire.Offering your solution to someone is a way of rescuing. Enabling a person to come to their solution is helping.The trouble with rescuing is that it creates dependency. The advantage with helping is that it leaves the person feeling empowered and confident that they can find their own answers. So how do we do that? How can we help without rescuing?One of the ways to do that is by asking open ended questions which facilitate a thought process within them. We could gently nudge them towards solution thinking by framing the questions with that kind of focus – For example – how would you like to go about this situation? What do you think might work? What would you want to do differently? What would you like to have happen? and the like.It is usually observed that people respond well to these kinds of conversations. If you want to pick a needle in a haystack, all you need is a good magnet. Likewise, you can be that magnet by asking neutral, open ended questions (without having a personal agenda) that will facilitate a thought process in the individual. People usually find their own answers when given a positive space and unconditional acceptance. Such revelations are usually liberating because it is their own resource. It may not be as quick as you offering your solution right away, but this is more sustainable in the long run as they find their own solutions and own them too. This way, you are helping them help themselves. You are empowering them!Tags: help, rescue

Posted By Narmada Rao

It’s been ages since I thought of this incident. But as I woke up this morning, it just flashed in my mind so clearly. I was in 8th or 9th grade. It was a festival in India (Ganesh puja). We woke up in the morning and my father and I went out to get fresh fruits from the market. We had finished buying all the fruits and I offered to carry the bag of fruits. I had always seen my father offering to help people with their bags and baggages and I thought that was so gentlemanly of him. So, I had started doing that at an early age too. He smiled and let me carry the bag. He asked me to hold his hand as we were crossing the road to get to our car. I saw a two-wheeler fast approaching towards us. While my father continued crossing the road, I don’t know at what point did I let go of his hand and just stood frozen. The two-wheeler came and hit me. Due to the impact, I flew and fell on the road with my head hitting the road. After that, I wasn’t aware of what happened.In some time, I felt someone was massaging my feet, some massaging my hands, some mumbling sounds of people, vague sounds. I felt my eyes open, but everything was pitch dark. I couldn’t see. In about a few moments, I heard my father’s voice clearly saying, “Nana, Narmada, can you hear me? Say something nana!” I could hear his panic-stricken voice. And slowly my vision started – it was hazy and blurred at first, but eventually everything became clear and I could see. I saw there were quite a few people surrounding me and I was sitting on some stone. I saw my father looking at me anxiously. I managed to get the words out of my mouth, “I am fine.” The people around suggested my father to take me to a hospital nearby. My father rushed me there, the doctor examined and sent me to the next room for an injection. I overheard the doctor telling my father to observe me for 24 hours and if everything went okay, then there’d be nothing to worry. So, off we went home.As soon as we reached home, my mother was shocked to see me. She worriedly asked what happened. Daddy told her it was a small accident but nothing to worry. I narrated the whole story. As soon as she heard it, she immediately said, “You went to get fruits for the prayer and this is what happened to you. I don’t want to do the prayer now.” My father instantly said, in a very kind and reassuring way, “It is those fruits that saved her today ma. She was carrying that bag on her right side where the bike hit. That’s what prevented her from getting further hurt.” My mother looked into the bag of fruits, a lot of them were squished. She had tears in her eyes. She said, “Yes! These fruits saved her. God is there! We should give thanks to him!” And so the puja (prayer) went on. My parents asked me to rest. Daddy came and lay down next to me. When I woke up, he said, “You were holding on to my hand very tightly nana” and smiled his usual gentle smile. I smiled too. I said I was feeling fine now. And that was that! The technique that my father used, when my mother said she didn’t want to do the prayer, is called reframing in NLP. It means changing the frame or the way in which we look at something by changing its meaning or looking at it in a different context. It’s done very gently and effortlessly and has a massive impact. My father did not challenge my mother or say she was wrong in thinking that way, nor lecture her on why we should pray. He instantly reframed saying, it is that bag of fruits that we got for the prayer that actually saved me. It helps break the unconscious resistance of the other person and offers them a new, more powerful perspective. Reframing gives you the power to choose your response to any situation in life rather than regretting or feeling bad about it. As the old adage goes, ‘you can’t choose what happens to you but you can choose how you respond to it.’The best part is you don’t have to be NLP trained to be able to use this. Most of us use it unconsciously in life, like how my father did. If you consciously choose to do it, imagine how powerful it would be. Let’s explore two important types of reframing. Content and context. Content reframe is when you take the meaning of something and ask – what else could this mean? For example, your friend did not answer your call so you are upset thinking he has no time for you. If you ask yourself, what else could this mean (to arrive at a more positive outlook) – you might think, maybe he’s busy or held up.Context reframing is when you look at the same thing but change the context without changing its meaning. For example, if you think a child is argumentative, you might be frustrated. If you change the context, you can see that they can be a very good lawyer because they can think of alternate points very quickly. So, the two important questions to keep in mind are:What else could this mean (in a more positive way)?In which context could this be useful?If someone says ‘No’ to you, and if you think – ‘they probably have the best intent for me, they are enabling me to help myself’ – this is content reframing. If you think, ‘they are really focused on the task at hand, they know how to prioritize and say no effectively’ – this is context reframing. In the above example of my father, what reframing do you think he used – content or context? Do share your views below. And happy reframing. 🙂Tags: #Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP

Posted By Narmada Rao

Imagine this – you are going to be a part of creating history with a Guinness Book of World Record – with more than 4000 children as participants, 20 cameras, another 5000 teachers and parents waiting outside – you head the Organization that’s attempting to create this record. Feel the heat? Amidst all this, you get a call from someone in your organization – saying they missed their flight to get to the venue this morning – they have 10 kids with them who were supposed to be a part of this event. What would you do? How would you respond?Here’s what actually happened. This will blow your mind. When this gentleman got that frantic call, he said, “No worries! When is the next flight?” When the lady shared the details, he said, “Ok, no problem! You come. We’ll take care.” The lady heaved a huge sigh of relief! The gentleman immediately instructed someone from his team to do the needful as soon as they arrive so that they make it on time to participate in the world record. The lady was filled with gratitude and shared this with someone who then shared it with some of us.It would have been the easiest thing to say, “how could you miss the flight”! Even that one sentence would have made the lady feel even more guilty than she was already feeling for what happened. But when she heard this, she least anticipated him to answer his call, and more importantly, respond with such kindness and magnanimity.I have had the pleasure of knowing this wonderful gentleman, my Guru, mentor, coach, and friend – he is Arul Subramaniam, Director of Brainobrain kids academy!When we got to know the story through someone, we were very intrigued and asked him how was he able to be so kind and compassionate even under such a high-pressure environment. He said he visualized the children’s crying faces for missing the flight and missing an opportunity to be a part of a world record. He thought of the lady and how the parents of all those children would blame her and how much she’ll have to spend out of her pocket to rebook the tickets for a different flight for all of them to travel now. He felt if anything, he should try and be a part of the solution and not make her feel even worse. It was important to be kind and understanding. And that’s what he did! Many people who heard this story along with me were stunned by his capacity to be compassionate.Most of us would make pressure an excuse to lose our cool. But for this man, there are no excuses to not be compassionate! And hence, he has an immense capacity to influence people in the most inspiring ways and create paradigm shifts in them. Not because he insists or persists, or criticizes or condemns but because he understands and explains! He doesn’t believe in making people feel guilty. He believes in enabling and empowering. And as a result, there are several thousands of people across the world who know him either through his profession or otherwise who are absolutely grateful to have him in their lives.The positive effect of this behavior is not only on others but on self too. Both, my dance teacher and my Guru have one thing in common – they are very calm and peaceful souls by and large. Their calmness is soothing for others too! They hold such strong positive beliefs about others that they aren’t caught up in a rigmarole of negativity. And the best part is their positivity makes people turn around in ways that the people never imagined themselves.On the other hand, the more we make people feel guilty, the more guilty we feel at the end of their life for having made them feel guilty instead of making them feel loved. And we’ll never have peace of mind constantly judging so many people and feeling bad due to our negative outlook. Hence, it is so important to be gracious rather than grumpy – so that people feel grateful instead of guilty.Wishing that you are filled with peace, graciousness, and gratefulness!I didn’t think there’d be a part 3 when I started writing, but as I wrote this one, a natural question came about – ‘how to deal with people who constantly try to make us feel guilty?’ Coming up, in tomorrow’s blog – stay tuned for more.Tags: #compassion, #motivating, kindness

Posted By Narmada Rao

I am guilty of making people feel guilty! Initially, I did not know that we shouldn’t make others feel guilty. Later, some wise being said, ‘never talk to anyone in a way that makes them feel like they owe you an apology’. It made sense. But I did not know what was the opposite of making someone feel guilty. If I wasn’t going to make them feel guilty, what should I make them feel instead? I finally had a eureka moment when I figured what’s the opposite of making someone feel guilty.(Disclaimer – It’s going to be a long read – but it’ll be worth it!)Firstly, why shouldn’t we make people feel guilty? Because guilt is not a great emotion! It’s an un-resourceful emotion. People don’t do better out of guilt. They lose their confidence in themselves. They feel a sense of shame. Once a person feels a sense of shame, the relationship becomes lopsided. One always feels obliged to compensate and the other always feels the necessity to criticize. It suddenly appears like one is bigger and one is smaller in that equation. Hence, it’s an unbalanced relationship. It can’t be steady.A small amount of remorse with an immediate focus on course-correction is helpful. But prolonged or extreme feelings of guilt are damaging. That’s perhaps why we shouldn’t set out to make people feel guilty often. Common ways in which we make people feel guilty are –“Why didn’t you call me? I was waiting for your call!”“You forgot my birthday!”“I made it especially for you with so much effort, but you did not even try it”.“Because of you, my life is like this.”“If you didn’t do this, my life would’ve been so much better by now.”(And so on and so forth. You can add your list of guilt statements)Prolonged feelings of guilt slowly pave the way to feelings of depression, anxiety, and low self-worth, making a person less resourceful and functional. They can even become defensive or aggressive. In order to escape from their guilt, they may try to make you feel guilty too. (Coping mechanisms!)Now that we understand making someone feel guilty has such heavy repercussions, let’s explore a healthy and absolutely outstanding alternative to it!The objective of us stating any of the above statements is to make people realize. Right? But do we want them to realize they were wrong? Or do we want them to understand how they can go right? The thing is, if you harp on proving others wrong, they’ll either admit defeat or wage a war! If you help them understand how they could do better, you are showing them a compelling picture to be drawn towards.  So, how do we do that?By being gracious!Being gracious makes people understand their mistakes and learn quickly without getting into drastic un-resourceful states. And when we are gracious, it makes the other person feel grateful for having us in their life. Sounds better, isn’t it? For example, if someone doesn’t return your call, instead of starting your next conversation on a confrontational mode, how about starting with asking how are they?If someone made a mistake, how about discussing remedial measures with them instead of blaming them?When we do that, instead of feeling guilty, they’ll feel grateful for having someone like you in their lives! There’s no dearth of people who make us feel guilty in life. If you can be that one understanding person, you’ll be their ray of hope.  Now, wait! Those of you with high fears in your head of, “what will happen if they take me for granted”, hang in there. There’s more to this.My dance teacher, Guru Anjana Gupta (Space Academy), is an epitome of graciousness. She said something that was almost unthinkable! I never imagined I’d hear a teacher say that!She said, “Girls, don’t take the tasks that I give you with the same seriousness that I say!” I was stunned when she said that. Usually, people say the opposite. She said, “I am going to offer you all that I have, you take whatever you can, at a pace that is comfortable and joyful for you. I don’t want you to get stressed about it. Some of you might want to take it as a hobby class and not want further work outside class, some of you might be more passionate, so you want to spend time doing homework. Some of you might want to take it up as a profession, so you might be willing to spend a lot more of your time and energy in honing your skills. I am okay with however you wish to pursue it. I respect that. And I want you to enjoy whatever you do. There’s no rule that you have to learn at a certain speed. Learn at a speed that is comfortable for you.” In saying so, she creates a safe space at ‘Space’ for us to learn, ask questions, and explore not just dance but deeper aspects of ourselves and life too!I couldn’t believe a teacher was so unconditional to be able to say that! She was teaching out of passion and didn’t have any judgments about her students. She didn’t set rules that people have to be this way or that way to gain acceptance. Just the fact that she said it made me respect her even more. It made me responsible and wanting to live up to my commitments even more.I figured that’s what makes a great teacher. Being in that role of a teacher myself sometimes, I realize how I may not have been as gracious. How I may have insisted on commitment or learning. But I found her way more powerful. It might not work with everyone. But then again, even the other alternatives don’t work too, right? Nothing works all the time. But something can give you more peace if you wish! You’ll be surrounded by people who absolutely value you and respect you for who you are. Could there be a better gift?And just to hold that wonderful belief that everyone is doing whatever they can do is such a liberating, calming, and relaxing thought. Not to have a yardstick to measure others makes your mind stress free. She pushes us when we need the push. She gives us rest when she sees that we need it too. It’s a great balance. I am not just learning dance but some valuable life lessons. As I say this, it is not just me but the personal story of many of her students who have often mentioned that they would have quit dancing if it wasn’t for ma’am’s constant kind and encouraging words. They find this as one place that helps them let go of all their stress and forget all their problems and just dance with joy! She never makes any of us feel guilty! When some of us take her for granted, she calmly asks, “tell me if you were in my place what would you do? You tell me how do you want me to respond to this. I will do whatever you say.” The way she makes us responsible for our actions is amazing! We automatically fall in line.So, not making a person feel guilty doesn’t mean we accept everything that they throw at us. We do communicate displeasure, but not to shame them or crucify them. But more with an objective to educate and help them understand.I realized that attitude is more inspiring than excellence. If you want people to achieve or be inspired to learn from your excellence, having the right attitude is a must! Attitude is so important that it becomes excellence by itself. A pleasant and understanding person is always inspiring and someone we’d look forward to being around. When our excellence becomes a reason for our arrogance, we lose our capacity to influence people to learn or even cherish our excellence for that matter.When someone is usually kind and compassionate, the one-off case where they lose their cool, we find it easy to understand and empathize.For all the teachers out there, a big shout out! Teachers always teach beyond the subject. Teachers teach essential life skills by the way they conduct themselves!To learn as a student is easy. We take responsibility only for our own learning. But to be a teacher is the biggest task- because learning can never stop when you decide to be on that chair. You have to keep learning and along with your learning is a huge responsibility of enabling others to learn too! The reasons for taking up that role could be anything, but the influence doesn’t change.As humans in everyday life too, we are constantly influencing and impacting people. Instead of proving them guilty, we can show them that they are worthy. Hearts filled with love are any day more beautiful than hearts filled with guilt!I have another mind-blowing story to share – but I’ll reserve that for Part-2 of this blog! That story will show us how to respond in a situation where there’s a 100% chance to hold the other person responsible for going wrong – but how do we set a powerful example of graciousness even under those circumstances – and what’s the effect it has! Stay tuned! And as always, thank you for stopping by and reading. It means a lot!Tags: #compassion, kindness, relationships

Posted By Narmada Rao

Firstly, what are you expecting? And what will happen if your expectations aren’t met?If we expect to be loved, that’s one thing (This may happen, not because you want it. But if they find it fitting in with the rest of their life story – like how you found them fitting in with yours. We can’t force this to happen). If we expect ourselves to be the only person to be loved the most by them – that’s another thing (That’s more like territorial rights. To own and to be owned is more suited for properties like cars and houses, not humans). If we expect them to change themselves, that’s a whole other thing. (Expecting people to be better versions of themselves, else we get upset. So, for the one mistake of loving us, they have to meet our demands for being accepted without any unpleasantness).Starting with a generalised statement – as humans, we all expect. In relationships, more so. Be it a friend, spouse, parent, child, partner etc. It appears as if we get into relationships just to fulfil our expectations. Mostly, things start off on a rosy note where at least one of the parties is more than willing to oblige at the other’s behest. But if those expectations rise too much and get demanding, that willingness reduces. There is an amount of resistance that seeps in. There is a recognition of the need for freedom. And hence, friction.Of course, our intentions are always good. But love isn’t only about intentions – it is about our actions and the effect that they have on others. Intentions don’t get us food on the table. Actions do. Likewise, in love, just having the right intentions may not suffice unless we learn to be balanced in our actions, words, and expectations. We expect people to change for the better only because it will do them a lot of good. But what if they don’t? Are we upset, angry, irritated? If so, then perhaps we need to change first!I have had the pleasure and privilege of knowing a few people in close quarters who convey their expectations with such an air of pleasantness that one would be more than willing to cooperate. The things that make the difference are:They don’t harp on it. They don’t build a nest in your ears until you fulfil it. They don’t take it as an excuse to be angry or irritated. They take time to educate so that you make better choices.They gently create a compelling case for change by firstly, being a gracious example of it – and secondly, stating how beautiful your life would be if you considered it. They don’t tell you that you are going to be a failure or your life is going to be miserable if you don’t change.Thirdly, they don’t state it as a need for acceptance. Meaning – they aren’t placing conditions to accept you based on whether or not you fulfil their expectations. They love you regardless. And they are happy nonetheless.They see your strengths and goodness beyond their expectations. They aren’t blinded by what they expect in a way that they can’t see you beyond an expectation-fulfilling machine! They recognise your uniqueness, your gifts, and your priorities at all times.They don’t do dramas and hold you responsible for their misery at any point. They put themselves out of the equation. They want you to change for your sake. Not for theirs. And hence, they aren’t driven by an agenda to make you into something you don’t wish to be. They are respectful of your space.As you read all this, if you are first thinking of those people around you who aren’t like this and they need to change – wait! That’s not the point. First, ask yourself, are you like this? If you aren’t what skills do you need to develop within yourself so that you can be this first? If you are feeling bad that others aren’t like this – then it is true of you too. Can you carry your own sunshine? If you are expecting some other sun to come and light up your life, it is such a high risk. You should know that it may happen, it may not – depending on the mood of the sun and the arrangement of other planets. However, if you can carry your own sunshine, you won’t have baseless reasons to be upset. You are going to find a happy state.If you got into a relationship that is diametrically opposite of what you ever wanted – then instead of expecting the other to change, its time to look into the choices made and the learnings thereof. Take responsibility for whatever you can and be ready to do what it takes to help yourself without holding the other responsible for your misery or for your life.Whatever you do, don’t have a sense of entitlement! No one in this world owes us anything! Ever! If they do something good for us still, it’s their magnanimity. If they don’t, that’s fine! No one was born to take care of us and our needs. Everyone was born because they have their own journey to travel and their own learnings to take care of. In between all this, if they are there for us, that’s great! If they aren’t, life is teaching us to mind our own business then. Life is teaching us to be more capable of handling ourselves.Expectations are not a cause for misery. But constantly expecting our expectations to be met by others is! We are not entitled to be loved. We are blessed to be loved. We are not entitled to anything. Never feel that you deserve better – that sense of entitlement leads to bitterness. You may have given your 200% or your life to someone or something – but that’s because you wanted to, for whatever reasons best known to you – either because you loved, or because you expected something in return! But because you gave your 200%, you can’t expect others to reciprocate in the same way. Be grateful if they do. But not bitter if they don’t. Just like how we don’t give our 100% to everything every time, them too! Our priorities and values are not the same as others. That doesn’t mean they are mean or bad. That just means they have different priorities. I can’t make them demons just because I wanted to play God! I can’t make them look bad just because I want to mask my insufficiencies and make myself look good.Trust that life is always handing you whatever you need to advance on your journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth. Be grateful when the sun shines while being aware that you aren’t entitled to it shining on you always. And if you liked it while it rained, you should be ready for the slush afterwards. Slush is not bad. It also dries up in due course. It’s all a part of the same beautiful earth. Reminisce the good times together. But don’t harp on it to be the same forever. If you aren’t ready to embrace change, you may not be fully ready for relationships yet. It’s good to be reasonable in what we expect – not just for others, but for our own mental sanity too.Tags: #gratitude, entitlement, expectations

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